Surgery just days away....

So my knee does need surgery and I've decided to go ahead with it so that it can get better faster while the problem is still fairly minimal.  But the kicker is that I won't be allowed to do any physical activity (even cycling with no resistance) for 3 or 4 weeks afterwards.  Of course I will heed the doctor's directions so that it heals well and I can actually get to running again.  However, this is a bummer as I do want to keep losing weight and getting fit.  My mom suggested doing some seated Tai Chi to work my upper body during that time which might be cool but there isn't much cardio in it... still worth doing something though, right?  But I've decided that after the surgery I'd eliminate some things from the food part of my life to help me... like sugar and white carbs (flour, rice, pasta etc).  I've been pretty good at keeping that out but now I'm just going to kiss it good bye... I've given up most meat at this stage as well (not because I have political issues or anything, or even because I don't like it... just because it's not convenient and I often don't feel like I want to eat it).  I'm hoping to up my veggies more and get more of my proteins from beans, lentils etc.  Basically, I'm going to take my cardio recovery time as a time to tackle some of my food issues (nothing too crazy or extreme because then all I want is what I can't have) and see how that works.  Instead of being further depressed by my limitations, I'm going to choose to be  impressed by the things I can do to continue to make positive contributions to my health!  Stay tuned... I'll probably be blogging about it at some point! ;)

Broken Body=Broken Motivation?

If you know and follow me on facebook you know that I've been dealing with a knee issue for a few months. I fell a while back and although much of it has healed, it's never completely healed. I went to the doctor and he confirmed that it's a little more messed up than I would like it to be and that surgery is on my horizon. He's let me deal with the choice of surgery now under his capable care or risking it getting worse etc. and having someone else do it. I'm pretty convinced that the time is now while the repairs would be minor.
With that said, my biggest struggle is to be motivated to work out. I've been told that I cannot run until it's fixed... running is how I get my real cardio workout in. Sure I can cycle on a stationary bike (I have one on my balcony but the seat is horrible and my rear end is in intense pain after about 5 minutes) but since I can't use any real resistance, I don't get a good workout. I can go for walks but the same thing happens... And as a fat chick, I REALLY need the good cardio to burn. My motivation is waning, that's for sure. I'm still eating fairly well most days and the inability to hit it hard in the gym has effected my appetite for sure... mostly I find that I'm not interested in eating at all (unless it's popcorn, hehe). Oh... and for all of you thinking that getting in a swimming pool would be the answer... you are so right, but when I checked into the ONLY pool that is open and within my area (like literally any others are between a 40 minute or 1 hour bus ride away), I was told I couldn't buy a short term membership... one year or nothing at all. If I wasn't moving in June, that'd be great but since I'll be in another country, that's a no go.... *sigh*Help me friends... help me find the motivation to exercise and alternatives that are workable. Right now, all I want to do is lay in bed in fat clothes and eat popcorn and ice cream.... yup... I'm mad/sad/frustrated and an emotional eater... oh... no yoga either because the injury makes it impossible to kneel... *sigh*

Sweating it Out

So even though I'm under orders from the doctor NOT to run (which burns mega calories, and which I've been getting better and better at), I decided that I could still find a way to get to the gym and get my sweat on. The old me would have whined, complained, told every soul with a pair of ears (I kinda still did that last one) and then gone home to gorge on not good for me foods... but this me, the new me, the improved and better me.... well, she packed her gym bag, dragged it to school and took her bum knee to the gym to hit the weights and the bike. I was there for about an hour or so and sweat nearly as much as if I'd run... it was good... really good and it was a great way to force to to lift weights which are great calorie burners too. I like the new me better... she loves herself and wants the best for herself... YAH!! And it was great because one of my basketball players looked at me today (we took our team picture) and asked if I'd lost weight... I said I had but just a tiny bit and she said it was totally noticeable... maybe I don't see it but it's so encouraging when others do!!!
So if you have an injury and can find a way around it... then do.. it's great!

Body Parts

*sigh* Sometimes they just don't cooperate. I hurt my knee a while back and went in to see the doctor. His primary concern at the time was that I had broken or fractured part of my knee so I had X-Rays done and was cleared. However, the front of my knee is still numb and tingles when touched and there is pressure and pain when I bend it deeply or put pressure on it by kneeling. So I went back to the doctor (who is AWESOME, by the way) to have him have another look and this time an MRI is in order and I am NOT to run... this is a HUGE bummer for me because I've really enjoyed running and started having some good success with it lately. But okay... so since I'm off the running until I get the okay from the doctor, I need to find other ways to be active that don't involve putting too much pressure or impact on my knee... and no, I don't have a swimming pool at my availability (weird, I know, since I work at a university and they don't have one in ANY of their gyms). So today I walked home from the main campus which is about 3km and then I do have a really crappy stationary bike at my apartment... I guess those are my options for now... any other suggestions?! I know I can still do my core and stuff with my ball and bands, so that's good but I need to BURN this fat off... help, please....

Day Three... RUNNING!!

So I worked really hard to be able to run for up to 25 minutes through the Couch-to-5K program a couple of years ago and I did it... Then I stopped. I gave up and so I've had to start all over again. I've been giving up on myself every time too... I've been running for 5 minutes and then convincing myself that it was too hard, or my legs didn't feel right, or my lungs/heart/brain/whatever was working too hard and that I needed to slow down and walk. Thing is that I barely run as it is, it's more of a slow plodding jog. But I have a friend here in Turkey who is a really consistent runner and who believes in her friends. She's been encouraging me to just keep going. Yesterday I hopped on the treadmill, walked 2 minutes to warm up and then told myself internally that I would run for 10 minutes... when I reached 10, I felt good and thought I'd just go a little more... then I reached 15 minutes and thought I'd just keep going because I felt okay. At 17 minutes I felt a little dizzy so I slowed down to a walk for 2 minutes and then ran for another 3 minutes. We have a 25 minute maximum on our treadmills at the gym so then I had to get off after one more minute of walking (my last minute of running I upped my speed so as to push myself). I felt so good and so proud of myself... then I walked UPHILL in the SNOW to get home and prepare some yummy snacks for friends that came by last night. It was just a really great day and evening and I felt like this is the life I deserve and want.... a little window into where I'm heading in life and I like it...

Today (day 4) it's sunny and warmer so I think I might try and go outside and go for a good long walk and then come home to do some yoga and work with the bands for strength....

Day Two

So day two started well, I worked out hard enough the day before to slip into a pretty deep coma by about 9:30 pm and I woke up super rested and happy.

My gym bag was packed already and I was ready to get busy this afternoon after work. However, there were some unforeseen changes at work and I needed to deal with a few of those things, so I did that after school and then I went to the staff volleyball game. I have degenerative disk disease and so sometimes I'm not as bendy as I like and for some reason it's harder in volleyball. So since most of my colleagues know I'm a non-bender, they tend to pick up my slack and I don't get to run around or play that much. I know that if I develop a stronger core and as I loose weight, this can be easier so I'm trying to make it a goal instead of a let down. But I stayed and played for about 1 1/2 hours for my exercise today. My current goal is to find a way to be active everyday. Whether that is a hard core workout at the gym, some yoga or pilates at home, a walk with friends, playing volleyball or whatever. Just as long as I make physical activity a priority in my life right now. I'm not sure if I should pay myself for what I did today, but maybe I should since it was a long period of time.... yes, I think I will. One thing I do know is that I really need to find a way to make yoga and pilates more a part of my daily life because the stretching and strength building is so important for me... my back is killing me right now and I can barely stand up (it's going into spasm... so I've plastered some stuff on it and I will put it to rest after a good hot shower later) but I can't live this way... so I've gotta take this weight off and get my body healthy and strong... skinny is nice, but healthy, strong and fit are straight up sexy and life supporting, so that's the ultimate goal in the end...

I used to be the person that would get discouraged from this kind of pain and I'd give up... eat a bunch of sweets and have a good cry and pity party... but not now, now I want to push through that, stay positive and stick to my goals... I'm packing my gym bag again for tomorrow (going to try and run a little more tomorrow... getting stronger and faster...) and I'm making it a priority to get to the gym and get my sweat on!

Upside of the day? My neighbour who hasn't seen me in about 2 weeks asked if I'd lost weight... she thinks I have (I'm pretty sure I haven't... I need to do my measurements at the end of the week), so that feels nice and motivates me to keep going!

A Good Start

Today was a good start in my life change. Yesterday was a mini-start but I'd been feeling a little off (sore tummy, dizzy etc) so I didn't work out but managed to make some yummy healthy food and then eat too much of it... *sigh* This is the story of my life and portion control is my biggest issue for the most part... especially in the evenings.
But today, today was a different story. I got up feeling well rested. I had a nice proper portioned bowl of Special K cereal with Soy Milk (regular milk makes my insides unhappy but yogurt and cheese tend to be okay in moderation). Then I went to school (aka work) and I snubbed the snack (cheese melted on bread... one of my faves), I enjoyed my coffee with vanilla soy milk and agave syrup instead... what a treat. At lunch I ate my nicely packed leftovers (roasted chicken and veggies... this was properly portioned out too). Afternoon snack? A banana!! YUM... I did have 2 caramels though... but I don't feel bad about it at all... they were yummy and small and a LOT LESS than I would have eaten before. I drank lots of water and I hit the gym (although I did drag my feet a little in getting there). It was a sauna in there and that makes me want to leave but instead I got down to some cardio business... I hit the bike for 5.83 km and then the treadmill for 2.73 km (I ran most of it but the heat kinda makes me nauseous... hence I don't think I will ever do Bikram yoga, although I am resolved to give it a try). Then I walked home (it's uphill and truly the worst part of the workout) and made some oven-baked sweet potato fries and some oven-baked zucchini fries for dinner. I feel happy, fulfilled and like I'm on the right path for once.

How am I dragging myself to the gym when all I want to do is be lazy at home and surf the net and watch shows? Well... I've decided to take one of the ideas I got off of www.pinterest.com, modify it and apply it to my health. I'm paying myself for each workout I do. Anytime I intentionally put on workout clothes and work up a sweat, I pay myself. The money goes into a little cup and the reward will be new clothes or SHOES... it's working so far. I worked out 3 times on my vacation just to pay myself. Clothes and shoes are GREAT motivators and a total treat for this chubby chick so I think I've found a method I can stick to.

For my food recipes (if you are interested) you can check out my other blog called Cook It Up! I post most things there and some of them end up on my pinterest page as well.

Thanks for following and encouraging!