Day Three... RUNNING!!

So I worked really hard to be able to run for up to 25 minutes through the Couch-to-5K program a couple of years ago and I did it... Then I stopped. I gave up and so I've had to start all over again. I've been giving up on myself every time too... I've been running for 5 minutes and then convincing myself that it was too hard, or my legs didn't feel right, or my lungs/heart/brain/whatever was working too hard and that I needed to slow down and walk. Thing is that I barely run as it is, it's more of a slow plodding jog. But I have a friend here in Turkey who is a really consistent runner and who believes in her friends. She's been encouraging me to just keep going. Yesterday I hopped on the treadmill, walked 2 minutes to warm up and then told myself internally that I would run for 10 minutes... when I reached 10, I felt good and thought I'd just go a little more... then I reached 15 minutes and thought I'd just keep going because I felt okay. At 17 minutes I felt a little dizzy so I slowed down to a walk for 2 minutes and then ran for another 3 minutes. We have a 25 minute maximum on our treadmills at the gym so then I had to get off after one more minute of walking (my last minute of running I upped my speed so as to push myself). I felt so good and so proud of myself... then I walked UPHILL in the SNOW to get home and prepare some yummy snacks for friends that came by last night. It was just a really great day and evening and I felt like this is the life I deserve and want.... a little window into where I'm heading in life and I like it...

Today (day 4) it's sunny and warmer so I think I might try and go outside and go for a good long walk and then come home to do some yoga and work with the bands for strength....

Day Two

So day two started well, I worked out hard enough the day before to slip into a pretty deep coma by about 9:30 pm and I woke up super rested and happy.

My gym bag was packed already and I was ready to get busy this afternoon after work. However, there were some unforeseen changes at work and I needed to deal with a few of those things, so I did that after school and then I went to the staff volleyball game. I have degenerative disk disease and so sometimes I'm not as bendy as I like and for some reason it's harder in volleyball. So since most of my colleagues know I'm a non-bender, they tend to pick up my slack and I don't get to run around or play that much. I know that if I develop a stronger core and as I loose weight, this can be easier so I'm trying to make it a goal instead of a let down. But I stayed and played for about 1 1/2 hours for my exercise today. My current goal is to find a way to be active everyday. Whether that is a hard core workout at the gym, some yoga or pilates at home, a walk with friends, playing volleyball or whatever. Just as long as I make physical activity a priority in my life right now. I'm not sure if I should pay myself for what I did today, but maybe I should since it was a long period of time.... yes, I think I will. One thing I do know is that I really need to find a way to make yoga and pilates more a part of my daily life because the stretching and strength building is so important for me... my back is killing me right now and I can barely stand up (it's going into spasm... so I've plastered some stuff on it and I will put it to rest after a good hot shower later) but I can't live this way... so I've gotta take this weight off and get my body healthy and strong... skinny is nice, but healthy, strong and fit are straight up sexy and life supporting, so that's the ultimate goal in the end...

I used to be the person that would get discouraged from this kind of pain and I'd give up... eat a bunch of sweets and have a good cry and pity party... but not now, now I want to push through that, stay positive and stick to my goals... I'm packing my gym bag again for tomorrow (going to try and run a little more tomorrow... getting stronger and faster...) and I'm making it a priority to get to the gym and get my sweat on!

Upside of the day? My neighbour who hasn't seen me in about 2 weeks asked if I'd lost weight... she thinks I have (I'm pretty sure I haven't... I need to do my measurements at the end of the week), so that feels nice and motivates me to keep going!

A Good Start

Today was a good start in my life change. Yesterday was a mini-start but I'd been feeling a little off (sore tummy, dizzy etc) so I didn't work out but managed to make some yummy healthy food and then eat too much of it... *sigh* This is the story of my life and portion control is my biggest issue for the most part... especially in the evenings.
But today, today was a different story. I got up feeling well rested. I had a nice proper portioned bowl of Special K cereal with Soy Milk (regular milk makes my insides unhappy but yogurt and cheese tend to be okay in moderation). Then I went to school (aka work) and I snubbed the snack (cheese melted on bread... one of my faves), I enjoyed my coffee with vanilla soy milk and agave syrup instead... what a treat. At lunch I ate my nicely packed leftovers (roasted chicken and veggies... this was properly portioned out too). Afternoon snack? A banana!! YUM... I did have 2 caramels though... but I don't feel bad about it at all... they were yummy and small and a LOT LESS than I would have eaten before. I drank lots of water and I hit the gym (although I did drag my feet a little in getting there). It was a sauna in there and that makes me want to leave but instead I got down to some cardio business... I hit the bike for 5.83 km and then the treadmill for 2.73 km (I ran most of it but the heat kinda makes me nauseous... hence I don't think I will ever do Bikram yoga, although I am resolved to give it a try). Then I walked home (it's uphill and truly the worst part of the workout) and made some oven-baked sweet potato fries and some oven-baked zucchini fries for dinner. I feel happy, fulfilled and like I'm on the right path for once.

How am I dragging myself to the gym when all I want to do is be lazy at home and surf the net and watch shows? Well... I've decided to take one of the ideas I got off of www.pinterest.com, modify it and apply it to my health. I'm paying myself for each workout I do. Anytime I intentionally put on workout clothes and work up a sweat, I pay myself. The money goes into a little cup and the reward will be new clothes or SHOES... it's working so far. I worked out 3 times on my vacation just to pay myself. Clothes and shoes are GREAT motivators and a total treat for this chubby chick so I think I've found a method I can stick to.

For my food recipes (if you are interested) you can check out my other blog called Cook It Up! I post most things there and some of them end up on my pinterest page as well.

Thanks for following and encouraging!

Alright... back again!

Okay, friends... I've been ill, I've been traveling and just unfocused. But I set a date (today) to begin a new and selfish phase in my life. When I say selfish, I mean that in the best possible way. I mean it as in I'm going to put my needs first (exercise, wellness, emotional stability etc). For a long time I've been selfish with my wants (socially, physically etc) but I've gotten nowhere. I've come to realize that I NEED to make new priorities and goals for myself. One of those is to be active everyday... and so instead of saying yes to all the things my friends want to do etc, I'm going to make sure that I get some exercise and meditation (prayer) in daily... it helps with my physical, mental and emotional well-being so I'm going to make sure to take care of that every day. I'm also going to continue to fill my body with things that bring it to wellness... yup, that means less wine and all that fun stuff (which will make some laugh as they know my social self) but I'm doing because I need my body to focus on being well and it's not well right now... carrying the extra weight that I do can only mean that it is not well... it can't be well. I'm also going to only surround myself with people who bring something positive into my life... so good bye boys who are takers... good bye pseudo friends... This is about making a new and positive life change. I'm excited about it... I hope to chronicle it a little more faithfully and I thank my friend Jennifer Oakley for encouraging me to get back to this... she is on a similar journey in her life and inspires me almost daily. If you are a facebook member (and who isn't these days?!?!) look up her page: Quarter Ton Losers and like them... they are really awesome!

Anyway... sorry for the rambling... but all 3 of you who read this... well, I appreciate your support and love and I just wanted you to know what's going on and that I haven't given up the fight to be the best me... I'm just doing it more holistically now... I working on detoxing my whole life in a sense and building up from nothing... I think it's going to be good. So thanks for walking near me in this! <3

Second Week over...

So the second week is over and I did have some hiccups for sure. I was really frustrated because I went to the doctor and he gave me a brace but it doesn't fit over my fat thighs and then rolls down and basically makes it so that all the pressure is ON the injury instead of off it. But I didn't focus on it. I also didn't go to the gym because my doctor recommended some rest and support on my knee. I took the advice and tried to do some core work with the ball and bands instead... stuff that wouldn't involve my knee at all.

My measurements this week (still no scale):

Ribcage: 36" (up from last week but still within an acceptable range for my ribcage area)
Waist: 40" (yup... that's right... down 1 1/2" from last time!!!!! YAH!!!)
Hips: 48" (still the same)

It's not fast but I don't want this to be fast... I want it to be right. This week, I'm going back to the gym, brace or no and getting my sweat on! Can't wait!!!!!

Second Week... Not Going So Well

This is just the beginning of my second week and I feel like it just isn't going so well. I am an emotional eater and knowing that I cannot workout right now (doctor said NO activity for 3 days, then light activity on the knee with a brace... which he gave to me, but won't fit because of my fat thighs... ) plus my intense PMS... well, it's just a bad combination... all I want to do is stuff my face with bad for me foods and let the tears roll.

But, instead, I am taking a page from my friend Jennifer's book and I am trying to keep my head up. I am going to drink lots of water instead of the glass of wine I want... I am going to cook a wonderfully tasty and healthy dinner and prep some lunches for the rest of the week and then get some work done. I want to be active, so I've emailed the doctor to tell him the knee brace and other options he gave aren't working (literally, the brace... one of those socky-type thingies just rolls right off my knee after about 2 steps, even with bandages holding it in place... the power of the bulge is too much for it's weak construction) and I am hoping he has some suggestions for me.

I will not let my mood get the better of me... I will not let my injury get the better of me either... I am stronger and better than all of this and I have lots of good people supporting me... YAH for that!

One Week Back...

I've been back on the wagon for 1 week or thereabouts now. I don't have a scale at home but there was one at the gym... I hopped on it, swallowed my tears and told myself "now you know... now you know for sure what you gotta do." So at the beginning of last week this is what it looked like for measurements and weight:

Ribcage: 35 1/4"
Waist: 42"
Hips: 49"

Weight: 116kg or 256lbs.

Yes... I nearly cried over the measurements and weight and then I told myself that I didn't cry getting to this state, so I have no right to cry while in it. Time to get busy and get myself HEALTHY!!!

Now, I'd like to be at the gym everyday but (and I'm not making this an excuse... it's a current reality... I also have no access to a swimming pool as an alternative) I fell a couple of weeks ago and did some damage to my knee. It was swollen for about a week and not as bendy as a knee should be. It's almost normal size now but still can't bend all the way (like no kicking my own arse) and is wobbly and sore. I finally have time to get into a doctor next week and I'll be taking care of that so I can get back into the working out. I may also contact the fitness centre near me to price out a membership for just a few months as they do have a swimming pool and then I can rehab there hopefully.

However... with that said, I did do one day in the gym and it was good. I need to get back to my morning workouts as that's the best way for me to be SURE that I'm getting in some exercise on a daily basis. I also decided to start making my own lunches for the most part and just eating more clean foods (less processed). I didn't make anything a no-no for me because I know myself and as soon as I do that... well, then I crave and eventually gorge on the no-no. Now, I haven't been to the gym to weigh myself yet, but here are my measurements for this week:

Ribcage: 34 1/2"
Waist: 41 1/2"
Hips: 48"

So with just making some changes to my diet, I am beginning to see some results!!! YAH!! This just motivates me to get moving too. I can't wait to get this knee figured out so I can get moving. I will post the weight once I've weighed myself.

Thanks for reading and encouraging!